Looking beneath the anger
Anger can tell us something important, yet the way it is expressed may hurt you or the people around you. We can explore what happens before you become angry, what is underneath it and how you would like to respond.
What this can feel like
Experiences vary. You may recognise some of these, or your experience may look different.
Reactions that escalate quickly
Conflict followed by regret or shame
Feeling on edge or easily provoked
Holding anger in until it bursts out
Difficulty setting boundaries directly
A sense that other feelings are hidden underneath
Anger often has a story
An angry response may be connected to hurt, fear, pressure, injustice or a boundary that has not been heard. Understanding what happens before and after a reaction can help you respond with more choice.
Talk with Richard →How therapy can help
We can look closely at a recent situation, including what you felt and what you did. I can help you notice earlier signs and practise a different response.
Notice early cues
Explore body signals, thoughts and situations that precede anger.
Understand the meaning
Make room for the feelings and experiences beneath a reaction.
Practise response
Develop ways to pause, communicate and protect boundaries more effectively.
Understanding your experience
More than a symptom
The aim is not to remove a normal emotion. It is to make anger easier to understand and express without causing harm to yourself or others.
What change might look like
Change may mean recognising escalation earlier, saying what matters more directly, or repairing a conversation after conflict.
Noticing what happens earlier can help you respond differently.
Related areas
Relationships & Intimacy → Trauma & PTSD → Self-esteem & Shame →
For general information about counselling and accessing support, see the resources page.
Understand your anger
Explore five questions about anger, therapy and finding a calmer response. Each link opens the relevant section of the article.
How do anger and rage occur?
Explore this topic →02 · ARTICLEHow does therapy help?
Explore this topic →03 · ARTICLEWhy do I get angry?
Explore this topic →04 · ARTICLEWhy can’t I stop myself getting angry?
Explore this topic →05 · ARTICLEHow do I calm myself down when I am angry?
Explore this topic →Explore what else may be involved
You may feel ashamed after an outburst or put pressure on yourself to stay in control. These pages explore some of the feelings we can consider alongside anger.
You can ask for help before you have the answers.
If you would like to talk this through, you are welcome to get in touch. We can discuss your questions before you decide whether to begin.
Get in touch