Understanding the patterns between us
If the same argument keeps happening, or you feel distant from someone important to you, it can help to talk it through. In individual counselling, we can explore your experience of trust, communication and intimacy, and what you would like to change.
What this can feel like
Experiences vary. You may recognise some of these, or your experience may look different.
Recurring conflict or difficult conversations
Distance, loneliness or uncertainty about closeness
Trust, infidelity or secrecy
Intimacy and sexual concerns
People-pleasing or difficulty setting boundaries
Strong reactions that seem hard to explain
Old patterns can enter new conversations
Our expectations of closeness and safety are shaped by experience. Under stress, we may withdraw, pursue reassurance or become defensive. Slowing down the pattern can help you see more than the latest argument.
Talk with Richard →How therapy can help
We can talk through what happens between you and the people in your life, including feelings that are hard to express. I can help you explore your needs and how you communicate them.
Understand what happens
Explore what each situation brings up for you and how you respond.
Find language for needs
Work with feelings, boundaries and conversations that have been hard to express.
Try different responses
Practise more choice in how you relate, whether you come individually or are reflecting on a relationship.
Understanding your experience
More than a symptom
You can use individual counselling to understand a relationship even when a partner is not attending. We will avoid assuming that one person is the whole problem.
What change might look like
You may notice a trigger sooner, communicate a need more clearly or decide what kind of closeness and boundaries feel right for you.
Understanding the pattern can help you decide how you want to respond.
Related areas
Self-esteem & Shame → Compulsive Sexual Behaviour → LGBTQIA+ Counselling →
For general information about counselling and accessing support, see the resources page.
Explore what else may be involved
How you feel about yourself can affect what you ask for and accept in relationships. These pages explore self-esteem, shame and the pressure to keep others happy.
You can ask for help before you have the answers.
If you would like to talk this through, you are welcome to get in touch. We can discuss your questions before you decide whether to begin.
Get in touch