Understanding a cycle of urge and relief
You may find yourself repeating a behaviour even though you want to stop. I approach this without judgement. We can look at the relief it brings, the difficulties afterwards and what else may be going on in your life.
What this can feel like
Experiences vary. You may recognise some of these, or your experience may look different.
Repeated urges that feel difficult to resist
Using a behaviour to manage stress or feeling
Secrecy, guilt or conflict afterwards
Attempts to stop that do not last
Effects on relationships, work or health
Feeling reduced to a label or a problem
Relief can keep a cycle going
A cue or feeling may lead to an urge, a behaviour and short-term relief. The original need can remain, while consequences add more distress. We can explore what the behaviour does for you and what alternatives might become possible.
Talk with Richard →How therapy can help
I will help you understand what the behaviour does for you and what makes changing it difficult. We can work on alternatives and discuss additional support where needed.
Map the pattern
Notice cues, emotions, thoughts and the moments where choice narrows.
Understand the need
Explore what the behaviour offers and what else may be going on underneath.
Build alternatives
Work on responses that fit your values and circumstances, including additional support where needed.
Understanding your experience
More than a symptom
Different behaviours and substances carry different risks. Therapy can be one part of support; we can discuss specialist or medical help when it would be appropriate.
What change might look like
Progress can include understanding the cycle earlier, being more open about it, and finding safer ways to respond to difficult feelings.
We can explore what helps you cope without repeating a behaviour that causes you difficulty.
Related areas
Compulsive Sexual Behaviour → Anxiety & OCD → Depression →
For general information about counselling and accessing support, see the resources page.
Explore what else may be involved
Shame and self-criticism can add to the distress around a behaviour you want to change. These pages explain how we can work with those feelings.
You can ask for help before you have the answers.
If you would like to talk this through, you are welcome to get in touch. We can discuss your questions before you decide whether to begin.
Get in touch