More room to be yourself around others
You may worry before meeting people, feel anxious while you are with them and go over the conversation afterwards. I can help you understand that pattern and work on the situations you would like to feel more comfortable in.
What this can feel like
You may recognise some of these experiences. We can begin with what matters most to you.
Before an event
Rehearsing conversations or worrying about what might go wrong.
During a conversation
Feeling watched, self-conscious or afraid of being judged.
Afterwards
Replaying what you said and looking for mistakes.
Avoiding situations
Turning down invitations, calls or opportunities you would like to take.
Feeling it in your body
Blushing, tension, trembling or a racing heartbeat.
Wanting connection
Feeling lonely while also fearing being seen.
When avoiding feels safer
Avoidance can ease anxiety for a moment. Over time, it may leave fewer opportunities to discover that you can cope, even with some uncertainty.
We can explore the experiences behind your fears and the habits that keep them going. Progress can begin with one manageable situation, rather than a leap into something overwhelming.
How therapy can help
We can explore the situations you find difficult and what you fear might happen. Then we can agree manageable steps, with time to talk about how they feel.
Compassion
Make room for the fear without judging yourself for having it. We can build a relationship in which you feel heard and accepted.
Curiosity
Notice predictions, self-focused attention and the ways you try to feel safe. Understand what happens before, during and after an interaction.
Change
Use CBT-informed approaches and agreed, gradual experiments to test fears and practise new responses. We can review what you learn together.
A manageable next step
A brief conversation, asking a question or attending part of an event can be a meaningful step. We will choose situations that fit your goals.
A little more about this work
Will I be pushed into frightening situations?
We agree the pace together. Any practical experiment should have a clear purpose and feel manageable enough to try.
Do I need to become more outgoing?
The aim is more choice around what matters to you. Your personality and need for quiet time are welcome.
Can I start online?
Online counselling is available across the UK. You can tell me what would make an initial conversation easier.
Explore at your own pace
The longer article below explains this topic in more detail and includes further resources.
Read more about Social Anxiety →Useful resources
- NHS: social anxiety ↗
Information about social anxiety and treatment options.
Explore what else may be involved
Worry about how others see you can become tied to self-esteem, shame and pressure to get things right. You can read more about those connections here.
Would you like to talk about it?
Send me a short message about what is troubling you. We can talk about what you need and whether counselling with me could help.
Get in touch