Stay connected without losing sight of yourself
Social media may help you feel connected, but it can also leave you comparing yourself with others or finding it difficult to switch off. We can talk about what you get from it, what troubles you and what you would like to be different.
What this can feel like
The question is not only how long you spend online. What you see, how you engage and how you feel afterwards can be just as important.
Comparison
Curated images can become the standard against which you judge your body, success or relationships.
Checking for reassurance
Likes, replies and views start to determine how secure or valued you feel.
Difficult content
Hostility, bullying or repeated distressing news can follow you into the rest of your day.
Lost rest
Scrolling takes the place of sleep, breaks or time in which nothing is being asked of you.
Avoiding a feeling
Opening an app gives temporary distance from loneliness, worry or a task that feels difficult.
Real connection
Online spaces can offer friendship, accessible support and belonging, especially when these are hard to find locally.
Notice the effect, rather than judging the habit
A useful starting point is to notice what happens before, during and after you use an app. Do you leave feeling supported, activated, depleted or further away from what you wanted to do? Different kinds of use may have different effects.
Research does not establish that all social media use harms everyone. A 2018 trial of 143 undergraduates found improvements in loneliness and depression after limiting three platforms for three weeks. That specific finding is not a universal screen-time prescription.
How therapy can help
We can look at how you feel before and after using social media, and try changes that keep the connections you value.
Compassion
Make room for the need behind checking or scrolling, including connection and relief. Shame about the habit can make it harder to understand.
Curiosity
Explore comparison, reassurance, online conflict and the expectations you absorb. Look at sleep, workload and what happens away from the screen too.
Change
Try a change suited to your life: mute a feed, reduce notifications, create a quieter bedtime or use an app with a clear intention. Keep the connections that support you.
An online life with more intention
You might notice your mood sooner, protect a period of rest or choose whose voices receive your attention. The aim is a relationship with social media that supports your needs, rather than a rigid rule you must follow perfectly.
A little more about this work
Do I have to delete every app?
No. We can consider the benefits as well as the costs and choose changes that are realistic for you.
Is this an addiction?
Frequent use alone does not establish an addiction. We can look at loss of choice, distress and the effect on sleep, relationships and everyday responsibilities without rushing to a label.
How does this relate to burnout?
Being constantly available can add to your load, while online community can also be a source of support. During autistic burnout, reducing distressing input may help some people, but removing valued connection indiscriminately may not.
Explore the connections
Would you like to talk about it?
Send me a short message about what is troubling you. We can talk about what you need and whether counselling with me could help.
Get in touch